Key Steps for Emotional Healing

  1. Decide which specific emotions are causing you pain and discomfort. Select one emotion or one problem which is triggering the emotional hurt!
  2. Think about and decide exactly what you want as an outcome.
  3. Examine what stops you now (at this moment) from getting the emotional healing that you want.
  4. Decide that your ‘emotional healing’ does not depend on anyone else to do, say, or give you anything. The success of your healing will depend on your efforts. Your health and wellness is in your hands. To the extent that you believe that you have to rely on someone else for your emotional health and wellness
  5. Think about how you (your life, relationships, job, etc.) will be different as a result of being emotionally healed. How will you feel? How different will your thoughts be? What changes in behavior will come as a result of your ‘emotional healing’?
  6. Reflect back to a time when you felt exactly how you want to feel as a result of your ‘emotional healing’. When was the last time that you felt ‘whole’, emotionally ‘well’, or (happy, content, satisfied, balanced, calm, etc.)
  7. Make a list of the adjectives (like those above) that will describe you and how you feel when you are ‘healed’ the way you want to be?
  8. Go back to #3 above: What stops you now from getting the emotional healing that you want? How can you remove those obstacles? What are three things you can do (or start doing) right now? Here are some broad examples: Changes in the way you think or behave; changes in the way you interact with people; doing things that make you feel more empowered; removing, neutralizing, blocking, or dis-empowering people, places, things or situations that dis-empower you; facing and making difficult decisions; having the difficult conversations that you have been avoiding;)
  9. Reflect back on #6. Make a list of specific events in your life when you felt empowered by the things you did (it is important that you identify things that you did that you did and not situations where other people ‘made you feel empowered’). Examples could include a project that you did, a competition you won, a class you took where you excelled, something you built, a decision you make that had successful outcomes – things you did that made you feel confident, empowered, proud, etc.
  10. Reflect and be thankful that you courageously, effectively and successfully went through these ten steps.
  11. Go through the steps as many times as possible – working on specific emotional obstacles in your life.

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