Category Archives: Solution Focused Strategies

On Grief and Grieving


The last two days were quite unusual for me.  I had a talk with not one, not two… but three friends who are all experiencing the same thing: grief.  That by itself is unusual. But even more unusual is the fact that all of them are grieving the loss of two close family members.

As a Clinical Psychologist when faced with clients who are grieving the loss of loved ones, I normally move to the professional side of me that is focused on counseling, educating, inspiring, teaching, coaching, influencing and motivating clients how to deal effectively with their grief. I teach them cognitive, emotive, behavioral and process oriented strategies and techniques that are geared to help them to transition through the grief process and stages.

However, when my friends call, it suddenly becomes more personal. And it is more difficult to become the professional. Even though I am a clinical psychologist, I ask myself… “Are they asking the psychologist or are they talking with their friend? Or do they expect some of both?”

This presents a struggle since it is difficult, particularly in these situations to be a friend and psychologist at the same time. From the professional perspective – there may be an issue of ethics… I cannot serve a dual role. I am not supposed to serve as friend and clinician. From the personal perspective there is also a struggle… I cannot see my friends hurt emotionally and not help. What do I do?

Well… having gone through this type of struggle as long as I have been a clinician, I have developed a few strategies that helps me to help them. I refer them to some of the same resources that I useto prepare myself to help others.

Some of the most powerful resources that are available to help people who are grieving are the writings of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.  Her last book, On Grief and Grieving, penned with David Kessler just before her death in 2004 cannot be described as anything less than a treasure for those who are grieving.

According to Marianne Williamson, “Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross left us one last gift, and it’s a masterpiece. Having illumined the subject of death, she has now illumined the subject of grief. She and grief expert David Kessler have written a modern classic, the kind of book that all of us will want to keep on our bookshelves because we know it speaks to our deepest hearts.”

And Stepahnie Manley in her review of On Grief and Grieving, said that “this book goes through in depth the stages of grieving and the misconceptions that we may have about those stages. For example, acceptance does not mean, we are ok, and moving on without our loved one. In reality, it is knowing they have passed away and adjusting our lives around that loss, and guess what, you don’t have to like moving on. I like how this book helps you explore the palette of grief that we all have with the deaths of loved ones. “

Manley continues that, “I honestly found myself weeping and remembering the deaths of my loved ones that I had recently lost. It was refreshing to read that the depth of the loss of my loved ones was normal, healthy, and even healing. This book is a real blessing in the healing process of the death of a loved one.”

On Grief and Grieving gives readers sage advice and counseling in abundance. For example, the authors contend that, “If you do not take the time to grieve, you cannot find a future in which loss is remembered and honored without pain.” This is powerful and exhorts people to follow the clear steps and process that they outline in the book. These steps are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing.

For those who are grieving, I lovingly suggest that you get On Grief and Grieving here.

Emotional Freedom



What is Emotional Freedom? Here is what Dr. Judith Orloff says:  Picture yourself in a traffic jam but feeling utterly calm. Or not letting your supervisor’s bad mood frustrate you. Imagine being peaceful instead of worrying. Or enjoying nurturing relationships and a warm sense of belonging in the place of loneliness. This is what it feels like when you’ve achieved emotional freedom.”

Emotional freedom is one of the answers that you need in order to heal your hurt and to deal effectively with emotional pain. To achieve emotional freedom you must learn how to understand and protect your own inner sensitivity. You must discover the secrets of how to empower yourself from the inside out. You must also develop ways to understand why you feel the way you do. Even more importantly you must learn how to change your feelings to those that sustain and uplift you.

Achieving emotional freedom involves learning how to face your inner fears, confront them and build unstoppable courage that leads to finally doing all the things that you have ever wanted to do and have never been able to follow through on.

Other benefits of gaining emotional freedom involves developing the ability to be sensitive to and read people’s emotions. You begin to combat the many emotional vampires in your life who have been sapping you dry, draining your energy and diminishing your spirit. You learn to stop other people’s emotions from dragging yours along with them.

One of the greatest benefits of emotional freedom is that you learn how to transform anger, jealousy, frustrations and disappointments into the positive energy of patience, hope, love and inner excitement.

Judith Orloff has written a powerful guide that encapsulates all of the above. In her book Emotional Freedom, she shows you how to identify the most powerful negative emotions and how to transform them into hope, kindness, and courage. Emotional Freedom is a road map for those who are stressed out, discouraged, or overwhelmed as well as for those who are in a good emotional place but want to feel even better.

Here are some reviews of Orloff’s Emotional Freedom by some well known individuals:

“Helping people free themselves from fear, worry, and anxiety is what we have to do. It’s hard work but we manage to get positive results. I’m enjoying reading your book on kindle.”
Aung San Suu Kyi, Burmese Peace Activist, Nobel Peace Prize winner

“A must read for anyone who’s tired of feeling frustrated, lonely, jealous, or emotionally tense. Dr. Orloff shows you how to achieve a lightness of being and feel more positive and peaceful. Highly recommended.”   Deepak Chopra

Emotional Freedom combines neuroscience, psychology, and spirituality to present a new approach for freeing yourself from negative emotions. This book offers you a path to greater health, intimacy, and compassion.”
Dean Ornish, M.D., author of The Spectrum

“A heartfelt, accessible guide to the graceland of peace and calm–regardless of our parents, our past, or our present. It’s loaded with nuggets of practical and profound healing wisdom.”
Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom


5 Simple Steps to Emotional Healing


Stress, anxiety, panic attacks, fears and phobias, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, sexual abuse, depression symptoms, compulsive spending, compulsive overeating, bulimia, relationship issues, negative beliefs, low self-esteem, grief, and test anxiety are all issues which can cause severe emotional pain! Additionally, these problems can likely result from past emotional hurt.

According to Gloria Arenson, psychological counseling is like detective work. She tries to help her clients find out as much as they can about what makes them to so that they can help themselves get to the heart of their problems. Emotional healing is the critical step that is needed to move people from emotional hurt to emotional health.

She used Energy Psychology techniques so that her clients can achieve an understanding that most of their bad habits, harmful behaviors and negative beliefs which might have been created as imperfect solutions to threatening situations that might have happened a long time ago.

As a result the clients’ problems are positively transformed and their behaviors change for the better!

After counseling thousands of people for over 25 years Arenson has learned that everything people do makes sense in the context of their lives. No one else in the world has the same fingerprints as yours. No one else has had your identical life either.  And as a result your problem might need a specific solution that fits only you.

To achieve this, Arenson teaches clients a specific type of Energy Psychology that is specifically tailored to help clients with their specific steps to emotional healing!

Arenson indicates that many of the people who come to her who have had years of talk (counseling) therapy and are still suffering emotionally. She contends that talk therapies often take a very long time to be effective and, even then, may not eliminate the person’s emotional hurt. She claims that therapy only goes as far as people can remember, while Energy Psychology methods can go the level beyond awareness to provide emotional healing for past hurts. She advises that Energy Psychology techniques are generally gentle and work rapidly and permanently without causing more pain and anguish.

Arenson wants to teach people who are hurting emotionally and who suffer from deep emotional pain how to use her specific type of Energy Psychology to help themselves and to provide emotional healing.  She wants to assist clients  in resolving their problems as quickly as possible.

Arenson has written a book where she teaches readers a variety of Energy Psychology methods that will help to eliminate or transform the fears, anxiety, traumas, compulsive behaviors, and the negative thinking that may be holding readers back from moving forward. Such personal interventions may help to create a happy and healthy life.

Need help in to heal your hurt or help with emotional pain, then examine Arenson’s book: Five Simple Steps To Emotional Healing Here!

According to Arenson, it is the
“The last book you will ever need!”